Life in general is such an odd thing. We are always up and down, up and down. And we think that we know what will make us happy -oh if I only had this or fulfilled this goal I would be satisfied. But we are human and satisfaction even when gained is very fleeting and that's ok because it keeps us motivated. Sometimes even though I have such an amazing life I'm a bit down. And then suddenly the next day for no explainable reason I am jumping off the walls with excitement. Sometimes when I'm going through a really tough time and I reach the breaking point I go nutty and end up talking to a wall and crying in a ball in my bed and then sometimes I reach that breaking point and it's as if the sky opens and I feel free and light and released. These are feelings I seem to be unable to control or even count on. Sigh, life is such a very odd thing. And I'm rambling terribly.
I had meetings for the wedding today which is now... 11 days away!! Everything is coming together and its good, mostly. I hate that I'm such an awful procrastinator but I don't feel guilty about it for me I feel terrible for my sister, who is the biggest planner, executor, on-the-ball, type A personality I have ever known. She has done SO much for me for this wedding and I know my procrastinating drives her absolutely insane. :( But there are only a few more loose ends to wrap up.
However, for the first time in what feels like forever I am actually sitting at my desk alone in my art room. And aahhh... it feels so good.